Some unreasonable people have complained about the city's free use of big sentences for small crimes … You judge for yourself
Violation: purchase attempt of 2-for-1 pork & beans with expired coupon Fine: $200
Violation: Over inflated tires on primer-gray Camaro Fine:$200 +Weekend Jail time--City Car wash duty.
Violation: Illegal Laundromat maneuvers between washer and dryer Fine:$220--City drier duty.
Violation: Hip-hop dancing with white beard at Red Line Tavern Fine: $300 and promise to only frequent taverns owned by City Employees
Violation: Lewd language directed at ATM Fine: $1000 and 6 months jail.
Violation: 2nd Degree Possession of Avon products Fine $1000 and contract to purchase only Shackley from City Employees
Violation: Illegal use of Spanish Language at Napa Auto Parts Fine: $1200 and deportation to Scappoose.
Violation: Improper use of lawn edger Fine: $1500, & Jail time. Time served reduced by mowing City officials lawns
Violation: 10 items in the 9-item only lane at Red Apple Fine: $1500 and jail Time to be determined.
Violation: Putting organic waste into wrong trash receptacle Fine: $2500 and Jail. Work release to Trash haulers. Jail until fine is paid from hauler salary.
Violation: Criticizing Amphitheatre stair design. Fine: $2500, jail, or proof of bath.
Violation: Evil web site and offensive appearance. (repeat offender) Fine: $200 or total worth (whichever is greater). Perpetual prison time.