More...from the
St. Helens Police Blotter (by tocs)
Some unreasonable people have complained about the city's free use of big sentences for small crimes You judge for yourself

Violation:
purchase attempt of
2-for-1 pork & beans
with expired coupon
Fine: $200

Violation:
Over inflated tires on
primer-gray Camaro
Fine: $200 + Weekend Jail time--City Car wash duty.

Violation:
Illegal Laundromat
maneuvers between
washer and dryer
Fine: $220--City drier duty.

Violation:
Hip-hop dancing  with white beard  at Red Line Tavern
Fine: $300 and promise to only frequent taverns owned by City Employees

Violation:
Lewd language
directed at ATM
Fine: $1000 and 6 months jail.

Violation:
2nd Degree Possession
of Avon products
Fine $1000 and contract to purchase only Shackley from City Employees

Violation:
Illegal use of Spanish Language  at Napa Auto Parts
Fine: $1200 and deportation to Scappoose.

Violation:
Improper use of lawn edger
Fine: $1500, & Jail time. Time served reduced by mowing City officials lawns

Violation:
10 items in the 9-item
only lane at Red Apple
Fine: $1500 and jail  Time to be determined.

Violation:
Putting organic waste into wrong trash receptacle
Fine: $2500 and Jail.  Work release to Trash haulers.  Jail until fine is paid from hauler salary.

Violation:
Criticizing Amphitheatre stair design.
Fine: $2500, jail, or proof of bath.

Violation:
Evil web site and offensive appearance. (repeat offender)
Fine:  $200 or total worth (whichever is greater). Perpetual prison time.

More High Crimes and
Misdemeanors