"It has Picture in Picture and it's High Definition," gushed I.

We bought the TV.

I had a couple of strong "Sales Associates" load it into my "junker" van while my wife and Janet picked out a TV stand.  It was an "in the box unassembled" type of stand, and Janet explained to my wife that we shouldn't have any problems putting it together.

We bought it on a Saturday evening, and both my wife and I decided that we would wait until Sunday after church to put the stand together.

My wife is smarter than I am, and has a great sense of spatial relationships.  Whenever I have a problem, I can usually turn it over to her, and she will solve it.  She assembled our computer desk, video cabinets, our green house, and a number of other items where "some assembly is required."  I was sure that she would have an easy time assembling our simple TV stand.

"Bill" called my wife. "I need help, we have a problem."

"What sort of problem." I asked.

"It's the instructions," said my wife.

I looked at the "easy to follow" directions.  They were printed in English, Spanish, and French.  They could just as well have been written in Chinese or Sanskrit because most of the parts weren't marked, and nothing seemed to match up.

"I wonder which one is panel "H"?" asked my wife. "We are supposed to use the brown screws on that panel."

"There aren't any brown screws," said I.   "I wonder if they mean these gray ones."

"They have to be the right ones," replied my wife.  "The black screws go into panel "G" right here."

We worked long and hard on the stand well past 11:00 PM. 

I grunted "I think we're finished," as I twisted a wood screw.

My wife gave a sigh of relief, and then noticed that we had three large screws left over. 

"Where do these screws go?"  She asked.

We looked all over and then I discovered three pre-drilled holes on the underside of the stands upper portion. 

I felt sick. "I can't get those screws in, unless we take the entire stand apart."

"Sheesh!"

The following day, a friend helped me lift the TV on to the stand and hook it up. 

We connected an assortment of coax, s-video, and audio component plugs.  He helped me put together a tangle of wires that formed the connections to my DVD, VCR, and stereo components… 

Finally, we were done.

I turned it on, and the picture was marvelous.   Everything worked. It worked just as it was suppose to work.

"Look! Look!  Come see!" I yelled to my wife.  "Everything is working.  The picture is beautiful and the stereo sound is great. "

My wife walked into the living room and looked at our new TV sitting on top of our new TV stand and said: " I don't' like it. It's too big.  I think it's ugly.  It overpow