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Note that none of these songs have been written by Bill Eagle, or anyone in his family and don't necessarily represent his opinions or the opinions of anyone who is nice. See Standard Disclaimer. |
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"Hey honey, have you gained some weight in your rear end?" "The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend." "And where'd you get those shoes, I think they're pretty lame!" "Would you stop talking 'cuz I'm trying to watch the game?!?" If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife "I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday." "I didn't ask you but I knew it'd be okay." "Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show." "I taped it over our old wedding video!" If you're a man who… (done that!)…a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife "Your cooking is okay, but not like mother makes." "The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake." "Your eyes look puffy, dear. Are you feeling ill?" "Happy Anniversary, I bought you a treadmill!" If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy… (I've done that too!) These are the things you don't say to your wife If you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife These are the things you don't say to your wife |
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