Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not  written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends (assuming that he has any at all).

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Top 10 Signs You Have A Dumb Dog

From: the Home ffice in Wahoo, Nebraska.  10/19/1993

 

 

 

10. Lengthy pause after “Bow” while it tries to remember “Wow.”

 

 

9.   Buries tail, wags bones.

 

 

8.  When you give him Alpo, he just eats the meat-by-products

 

 

7.  Despite the overwhelming evidence, still smokes two packs a day.

 

 

6.   Showed up at the Whoopi Goldberg roast in cat face.

 

 

5.    Has suffered over two dozen concussions from toilet seat falling on his head.

 

 

4.    Thinks “Snausages” is a real word.

 

 

3.    Voted for Fred Grandy, Love boat’s gopher, because he really thought he’d be a good Congressman.

 

 

2.    Spends hours staring at kitchen cabinet, waiting for tiny horse and carriage to come out.

 

 

1,     Constantly chasing people named “Katz.”

 

 

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