Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends (assuming that he has any at all).
Top 10 Signs You’ve Got It Easy In Jail
From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska, It’s the Top Ten List for Dec 27, 1994
10. Every night there is a mint on your pillow.
9. Bars on your cell are rusty from Jacuzzi-steam.
8. Guards meet with you to help you plan for your escape.
7. They replaced your regular coffee with Folger’s Crystals. In the resulting riot, 10 died.
6. You share a cell with one of Heidi Fleiss’ girls.
5. You get frequent flyer miles for good behavior.
4. You have a summer cell in the Hamptons.
3. Every day around 4:00 PM — Pony rides!
2. Other inmates refer to your cell as “Margaritaville.”
1. You call the Warden “Daddy.”
“From 1934-1963, the biggest criminals in America ended u on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.”
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