Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not  written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends (assuming that he has any at all).

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Top 10 Things To Do On Your First Day Of School

From;  Ana Welander

 

 

 

 

10. As soon as you receive your textbook, page through it scratching each picture and sniffing it.

 

 

9.  Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes ask the instructor to speak up a bit.

 

 

8.  Squint thoughtfully at the instructor.  In the middle of his or her remarks, raise your hand. Say he or she looks familiar and ask if they’ve ever been on an episode of “Friends.”

 

 

7.  Speak only in rhymes.

 

 

6.  Have a friend bring cymbals. Inform the class you are Belgian royalty and have your friend clash the cymbals each time our name is spoken.

 

 

5.  Address the instructor as “Your Excellency.”

 

 

4.  Sing your Questions

 

 

3.  Sit in the front, sniff a lot while looking around, and finally say, “Okay, who’s to blame?”

 

 

2 Say, “WOW” after every sentence in the instructor’s lecture.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING TO DO ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

 

 

1. When the instructor calls roll, after each name scream, ‘That’s

 MEEEEEEEEE! Oh, no, wait...sorry!”