Text Box: Brickbats, Barbs

Regarding people posting ďbrickbats and Barbs,Ē satire contents do not have to be complimentary to me or this web page, all we ask for is a laugh or chuckle.† I have no sense of good taste or good judgment, so I will probably post most anything sent to me.†† Send all barbs to: eaglew@sthelensupdate.com

Comments made arenít necessarily the opinions of Bill Eagle, his family, wife, or anyone who even pretends to know him or pretends to be nice.† See Billís Standard Disclaimer

From: R. Patriot† 3/13/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again,

Poor Paul Manafort, they just sentenced him to 7 Ĺ years in Federal Prison. The man is a patriot who loves our President and wants to protect him.† He does not deserve such an unjust punishment. He is not a real criminal like those people who peddle Marijuana, or shoplift.†† I hope that President Trump will find it in his heart to pardon him.

I was amused at some of the news about college admission scandals.† I donít see why they are making such a big deal about this.† All a person ever had to do was build a building or make a sizable donation to a school in order to get their kids admitted. I recall that I paid to put Astro-Turf on one of their fields in order to get one of my no good sons admitted. He didnít thank me and he didnít even finish school. But this ďscandalĒ is overblown.† It is not any sort of a big deal, it is really just business as usual.


As always I will pray for my President and ask others to do so as well. He is Godís messenger to our nation and we need to support him.

God bless America.


From: Smokey 3/13/19

Smokey is working out of town again, so I am writing his blog for him. I am not happy with Trumps budget and I am upset to see him planning to pretty much, eliminate money for Medicare, Medicaid, particularly when he promised not to touch these programs. He will be taking money from military pensions, Veterans benefits, military housing and other important programs to help build his useless vanity wall.

I am disgusted reading about wealthy people paying to get high scores and faking ACTís and SATS, so that they can get their kids into a prestigious school.† My dad helped me go to school, but I still had to take the tests myself and take out student loans in order for me to get and stay in college.

I am sad to think that if you are wealthy, you can be above the law and the rules that everyone else live by donít apply to you.

I am interested in what Robert Mueller is turning up. According to the news Devin

Nunes basically admits the criminal behavior that Trump and his campaign engaged in by working with Wikileaks. I know this hasnít been proven yet, but Roger Stone, a close confidant of Trump, admitted his own interaction with Guccifer 2.0 and then touted when the stolen emails would be released on social media. I will never understand how and why Republicans will do whatever they can to protect Trump who is likely a criminal. Patriotism amongst Republicans is dead.


From: R. Patriot† 3/6/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again,

Someone asked me why my Girl friend and I donít volunteer. I believe in a man getting paid for their work. We donít work for free. Only Commies and slaves work for free. Besides, volunteers are mostly all a bunch of tree hugging pansyís.

I am sorry that our President was not able to do as much as he would have liked with North Korea, but we all know that the problem does not lie with our President, but with our biased liberal press publishing stories about Michael Cohnís lies to Congress.† You canít trust what you read. I only watch Fox News and even that seems, at times, to have a liberal bent to it.

I hope that our President is able to build a wall on our Southern Border. This will help protect Americans from the hoards that are surging into our nation, the narcotics traffickers, the white slavers, rapists and murders that are destroying our people. My dream is that what we will have will have something like the Great wall of China, and will be visible even from outer space. This, indeed, will make America Great again.

God Bless America.


From: Smokey 3/6/19

Susanne is hoping that the weather remains good, since she will be driving across Cornelius pass today. She is a volunteer for Planned Parenthood and takes her volunteer responsibilities quite seriously.

Susanne is convinced that President Trump has committed numerous crimes while in office. She said that she believes the testimony of Michael Cohn far more than anything that the President or his followers would say. Susan said ďCohn is already going to jail and he has no reason to lie again to Congress.† If he did so it would put him in greater jeopardy and add time to his existing jail sentence.Ē†

Susanne said that it is a shame that our President would believe and do the bidding of Russiaís Vladimir Putin and not listen to, or follow, the advice of our own intelligence agencies. It would almost seem as if he is working for Russia instead of our own country.


From: R. Patriot† 2/27/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.

Today my President is meeting in Viet Nam with Kim Jung Un to make sure that we have peace on the Korean Peninsula. He will be doing something that no President of the United States has been able to accomplish. Thanks to President Trump, we will be at peace, not at war with North Korea.

In the meantime, we are witnessing a circus with Michael Cohn, a proven liar, giving his lying testimony to Congress. He hates our President, because President Trump did not give him a job in the White house. No one should believe what he says because, unlike our President, he is a proven liar.

Congress should be working on providing us with border security, like the building of a great wall on our border, instead of listening to a liar spin lies.† I am, however confident that our great country will prevail. God bless America.



From: Smokey 2/27/19

Working real hard in helping some of our new Burgerplaces get started. Corporate has bought into the idea of creating franchises, but they still want to keep their high profit company restaurants. It may be a while before we can create a locally owned franchise here.

Susanne is putting together food donations for our food bank. She has also renewed our membership in the ACLU, and Planned Parenthood. Weather permitting she will be spending a day each weak volunteering for PP in Washington/Multnomah county.

She mentioned that Michael Cohn is now testifying before Congressional committees with proof that the President committed felonies both before and while in office. She says that we will see if our Justice Department will actually act to support our Constitution or will try to cover up for the President.† She does not trust William Barr.

If the Justice Department refuses to do its duty and wonít pursue felonious activity, then it will be a sad day for the American people.

We have much to learn in the next few days in what will happen. .


From: Talk Nazi 2/26/19

Our beloved fuhrer has decided to take a most glorious trip to Vietnam to meet fuhrer, Rocketman from N Korea. Our country will be safer and better after our beloved leader makes a deal with his new love Rocketman. Rocketman has said over and over that N. Korea does not have nuclear weapons. And fuhrer Trump said he believes him and if our leader says it-- it is true!. We will have wonderful trade with N Korea and better than trade, the N Koreans will get a Trump tower to call their own. We are so lucky to have such an intelligent, genuine and smart leader in Fuhrer Trump. God Bless the Fuhrer and God Bless The Mother Country.


From: Short Fellow 2/26/19

There once was a lady who loved facts

She could read both their fronts and their backs.

She memorized the data

And she grew Fattah

Until she exhausted all of her snacks


From: Clair G. 2/25/10

What the hell is wrong with the GOP and Trump cutting lunches for schools if the kids grades are not really good. It does not make sense to punish a child by taking away their food. A child learns better if they have a full tummy. Many of those children get no other food other than food at school. The cruelty and ignorance of the GOP and Trump is beyond words. As I look at Trump I see a fat ungrateful person who cares nothing of other people. He is a bully and looks like he has not missed any lunches. People who punish children for being children need locked away.


From: R. Patriot† 2/20/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.

My live in girl friend and I met with a very Christian group in Beaverton yesterday. They call themselves the Patriot Prayer people, and they support our President. They believe in helping make America better and protect us all from the brown wave of rapists, drug smugglers, and criminals that are coming across our border. They know that a wall is what our nation needs and they are fearful that the Democrat and Socialist Commies will try and stop our Presidents National Emergency declaration. They want to protect America from these people and stop our country from being turned into another Venezuela. Thank God that our President is willing to use money that would be wasted on Military families, and Drug interdiction. He will use the money for his great wall and put an end to the brown armies that are besieging us. With a southern border wall, America can become great again. Although our President has already done so much for us, a southern border wall will be a lasting monument to his greatness.

God Bless America.


From: Smokey 2/20/19

Susan bought some pet food to drop off at the food bank. She says lots of poor people have pets and they need to feed them.† She is also donating some of her art money to the Back Pack program.† We have lots of kids in our community who only are able to eat when they are in school They go home for the weekend or on spring break, and there is no food at home for them.† I think we might also do some collections at our burger place for hungry people.†

Susanne listened to Rachael Maddow yesterday and said that Sally Yates told President Trump that his new National Security Advisor, Michael Flynn, was a security risk and had way too many conflicts of interest.† Trump did nothing, and Flynn resigned on his own 18 days later. Trump later fired Sally Yates.† Flynn is cooperating with the Special Council, but the Judge seems to think that the man committed Treason. What is scarier yet is the possibility that Trump himself might be a Russian asset.

We do live in some interesting and scary times.


From Sam Nevin† 2/17/10

Why is the city is raising our utility rates? They arenít building anything new. Will they use the extra money to prepare our sewer lagoon to take Portlandís toxic waste?


From: R. Patriot† 2/13/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.

Our President needs money for his wall. The wall will be the only thing that will save our nation from rapists, murderers, terrorists, drugs and Democrats.

Our President says that he will get the money from other sources like SNAP and drug interdiction funds.† We are so fortunate that our President is a great deal maker and knows how to handle and make money.† Even when our President declared 6 bankruptcies, he still managed to come out of them with a profit.† I am sure that he will help our nation profit as well. All we need is faith in him.

Our president had a great turn out in El Paso. Over 10,000 people were there to cheer him on and support him in his desire to save them from a brown plague of vicious foreigners. El Paso loves our President.

My girlfriend and I just bought two more red MAGA hats. Sadly they were made in China, but they are sold here in the USA and our money will support our President to continue making American Great Again.

God Bless America.


From Smokey 2/13/19

Been working on the Franchise stuff with Susanís dadís lawyers and some of the lawyers from corporate.† I had no idea that such stuff could be so complicated, but we are seeing progress.

Susanne just told me that Donald Trump had a great idea. He wants to have a 4th of July parade in Washington D.C.† Susan said that this is a good idea, but she thinks that the President didnít know that D.C. has had a 4th of July parade for years.†

She said that he isnít happy with what Congress is offering him for his wall. Congress offered less money† this time then then they did last. It appears that the President might sign their continuing resolution into law.† The last government shut down cost us billions and our nation canít really afford doing it again. Trump says that he will get his money from other sources.† Susanne says that another shutdown will be very damaging to the President and his political allies.

I sure hope that he wonít veto what Congress sends to him.


From: R. Patriot† 2/06/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.

I have never been so enthused and excited as I felt after hearing our Presidentís great State of the Union address.† Our country has never been better off than we are now. He let everyone know why we needed to build a giant wall to stop hoards of brown murders and terrorists from threatening our nation.† Huge caravans have moved up from the south and they need to be stopped to prevent murders and rapes. We need to be aware that women are being smuggled into our country by evil forces to become sex slaves.

It made me sick to hear him tell us of the horrors of abortion and how the Governor of Virginia is executing newborn children, innocent children.† We need to stop these murders.

Drug prices have declined, and the quality of our medicine has improved with his dismantling of Obamacare.† He is saving us from socialism and socialized medicine. He has prevented the Democrats from turning our nation into another Venezuela

Thanks to President Trump, our economy is now the best that it has ever been in most peopleís life times. Wages are higher, poverty is lower and peopleís lives have been enriched by his programs. God was good to us when he gave us our President. The Rev Franklin Graham and Rev. Pat Robertson were so right when they told us that our President was given by God to the people of this country.†

God Bless America.



From Smokey 2/6/19

(Susan is again writing Smokeyís blog)

I was appalled by last nights State of the Union. Trump paraded Holocaust survivors all the while trying to frighten us with supposed Caravans of people filled with MS13 gang members, murderers and rapists. He made no mention of the thousands of children of amnesty seekers who have been taken away from their parents and never again united with them.

He bragged about the greatest prosperity in the last half century, all the while he has cut funds to food banks, meals on wheels and food stamps.† He spoke about lowering medical and pharmaceutical costs,† after signing legislation preventing organizations from buying cheaper Canadian drugs and he bragged about dismantling the ACA and has given us nothing in return other than allowing the cost of life saving Insulin and other medications to quadruple.

Worse yet, he spoke about this unprecedented prosperity and then threatened congress if they continued to exercise their Constitutional responsibility in exercising oversight of him and his administration.

Indeed I was appalled and saddened to see what is happening when we put our government into the hands of this crazy bigot.


From: Blake Gardiner 2/5/19

To save you having to watch, I'm sending this PSA summarizing the State Of The Union address:

Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, NO COLLUSION!

Text Box: Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, BUILD THE WALL!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, IT'S OBAMA'S FAULT!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, IT'S THE DEMOCRATS FAULT!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, WITCH HUNT!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, I AM A STABLE GENIUS!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, HIGHEST TV RATINGS IN 10,000 YEARS!
Lie, Lie, Lie, Me, Me, Me, HER EMAILS!
The End!

From: R. Patriot 1/30/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.† We need a wall on our Southern Border. Border security is very important and our nation canít afford to have a bunch of brown skinned, rapists, murderers, dope peddlers, diapers users and Democratic voters invading us.

Our President has done so much for America. He has shown us that he can work deals with Russia, North Korea, and China. He can cut unnecessary and unneeded rules for clean water and air. We need to allow business to stay in the USA and the best way is to end stupid anti pollution and safety rules. These rules cost money and they hurt. He is also saving us money by cutting unneeded programs like Meals on Wheels and other handouts to freeloaders.† My hope is that we will be able to eliminate what is left of Obamacare so that American can continue to provide itsí citizens with the best healthcare in the world.

God Bless America


From Smokey 1/30/19

This is Susanne,† I am writing Smokeyís Blog today. Smokey is putting in extra time at work. He has some new ideas on how to improve sales and also provide new employee incentives.

I canít believe it, but I just sold my huge metal sculpture. It was purchased by a wealthy tech guy, who purchased it for a new series of offices that he is building in Bend.

I am glad that the Government shutdown is temporarily over. Trump reminds me of a bratty child who tells his dad that if he does not give him a raise in his allowance that he will smother their family pet.† A government shutdown is disgusting, it is stupid, and it is also very, very expensive.† I think that our President is suffering from Dementia and is not rational. You donít punish innocent people, just because you donít get your own way.† I was also shocked to find out that our President is having private meetings with Russiaís President without any Americans (including people from his own cabinet) to witness what is being said or done.† I guess this fits in with Jerodís request to the Russian Embassy to see if he could set up a ďsecure lineĒ with Russia.† My fear is that Trump is not working for the people of the United States, but rather is working for his own personal profit. The sad thing is that none of this seems to bother the Republicans.


From: Talk NAZI 1/29/19

I love Donald Trump, his dealings with Russia is  most wise, the Fuhrer  has many great connections with the honorable Putin and the Russian mob. Our brave leader knows what is best for the pond slime of America. These poor black, brown, and white people are worthless and needs put in their place and understand Fuhrer Trump is most wise and knows what is good for them. He is a self -made man, and demands that the citizens of the United States are self-made as well, No more welfare, health insurance, to hell with these degenerates let them eat cake. God Bless the Fuhrer and God Bless the Mother Country.


From: S. Sanders 1/28/19

I live in St. Helens and I tried to pay my water bill with the address printed on the bill. I sent my check off and I got it back with correspondence stating this is not the correct address. In the mean time I got threatened by the city to have my water shut off because I had not paid my bill. Why do they put the wrong address on the statement? Then threaten people? Are the people running the city incompetent, I believe they are.


From: R. Patriot 1/23/19

God bless America, Donald Trump and Mike Pence; who are now trying to make our country great again.

By now there are a lot of Demorats who are regretting not supporting our President.† He has really taught them a lesson and let them know who is boss. The government will not be started again, until the Democrats vote to fund border security by allowing our President to build a great wall.† A wall that will protect us from our brown enemies.† These people may look like women and children, but there are hundreds of terrorists and disease carrying drug carrying kids being snuck in with these illegal asylum seekers.† These people are the scum of their country and they are all trying to come here.† Our Border patrol has stopped many of them, but we are helpless unless we can get a wall to protect us from these disease and drug carriers.

Our President has tried to present the opposition with logic and was even willing to compromise and yet those Demorats still wonít budge.† The Demorats have brought our government to a standstill and they have the audacity to try and blame the shutdown on our great President.†† Great people do great things and our President has given them a greater shutdown than anyone thought possible. The Demorats must cave so that we can protect America again.

God Bless America.


From: Smokey 1/23/19

Still working on the Franchise concept for Burgerplace Restaurants. Corporate is making things lots harder, but Susanneís dadís lawyers seem up for the challenge.

Suzanne is upset by the government shutdown. She is afraid that it will hurt our courts, our law enforcement, and all of the services that we pay government to provide. Susan says tht the cost to our nation is in the billions and it will be a very long time before we can get things going again, even if the shutdown ends tomorrow.† She is also upset that government workers wonít be able to pay their bills or even, in some cases, feed their families. I agree with her; itís extortion. Hurting a bunch of innocent people, just so our President can get his way. He wants to get something, that in his first two years, his own political party never gave him. Both Susanne and I hate bullies and we are all being bullied.

This is not how we were taught government was supposed to work.


From: Mike Richter 1/22/19

I am sickened with the way this country has gone, its divided so bad that I am afraid it will be years until we are united again. Trump is a one man wrecking crew against this country. Trump acts like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. Shutting the government down is costing us billions, people cant live, holding the country hostage. The democrats are right -they do not negotiate with terrorists. Stand  up for our principles Nancy and Schumer.  Convict Trump on his Russian involvement, impeach him for his bad illegal deeds.  Him not paying people their wages but require them to work is SLAVERY , not to care about people because you have your money, is nothing more than classism. Piece of shit.


From: Terry Pritchard 1/22/19

The Port of Columbiaís apparent decision to stop public comment recently only shows that they care little of what the public, thinks or wants. I thought the new director was going to be different, but its business as usual.

 From: Mary Sherer 1/21/19

The Port of Columbia has made a huge mistake increasing the API for the oil company. Allowing the tar sands from Canada to pass through our county will add safety issues, as tar sands is more volatile. Shame on you.


From: Talk Nazi 1/20/19

I am so proud of my beloved leader The Honorable Fuhrer Donald Trump.† We need to MAGA!

America has spiraled down under the direction of OBAMA. Now Fuhrer Trump will MAGA with his wonderful policies. His strength of shutting the government down only helps its superior people. As for the low life pond slime they can keep down in the mire where they belong  as they are beneath Trumpsters. His deep concern for the safety of America is to build the WALL!

Keep those welfare, ignorant breeding Mexicans away from us pure whites. They are dirty and filthy. They need to be kept away from us. I can understand why the Fuhrerís in South America hates them, they deserve to be beaten, and robbed and sold for mules, they are inferior.

I pray to God every day and thank him for Donald Trump. God Bless our Fuhrer and God Bless the Mother Country.


From: Larry Justice 1/20/19

The crack down on public records by Senator Johnsonís Senate Bill 609, what a scam.

I want to thank Tammy Maygra for her letter to the editor, she has brought forth to the public, and just how elected people want to stop citizen involvement and that is to squelch public record access. Next time Betsy is up for re-election she will not get my vote period. She has shown her true colors

From TM1/20/19

Eagle your web site sucks, just like you.