|
Please note that the TOP 10 is not written by Bill Eagle, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends. Readers are encouraged to submit Top 10's to Bill Eagle. Bill has neither good taste or good judgment, so there is a very good chance that he will print what you send him.
See Disclaimer
Top 10 New Years Resolutions
by
(Several People)
10. Mayor Randy: I resolve to remain invisible until next election
9. Tony Hyde: I resolve to give fewer rebates back to the Mining Co's.
8. St. Helens City Council: We resolve to raise your sewer and water bills this next year.
7. Rita Bernhard: I resolve to try and find someone else to complain about instead of Joe.
6. Earl Fisher: I resolve to take more care in how I spend Betsy's money and insure that the county has less public access to information.
5. Bill Eagle: I resolve to make an attempt to look less ugly through personal grooming and by imitating the Mayor who shuns public appearances, public meetings, and public places.
4. Betsy Johnson: I resolve spend more time doing real government business and try to spend less money attempting to sway local elections.
3. Skip Baker: I resolve to find more land to annex into the City.
2. Rita Bernhard: I resolve to limit my calls to Betsy to twice a day.
1. Tammy Maygra: I resolve to spread more love and kindness to Betsy, the County Commissioners, the City of St. Helens, the Port of St. Helens, REDCO, LNG promoters, and to the Republican Party throughout this next year.
|
|
