Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is
attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle’s wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends.
Top 10 Ways The World Would be Better If Barbara Streisand
From: Sandy/MS Sam
10. State of the Union Address features five costume changes
9. Trillion-dollar military contracts awarded to Aamco Transmissions
8. Secretary of the Navy re-named “Prince of Tides.”
7. First time since Ford that a President has performed a duet with Neil Diamond.
6. Statue of Liberty’s nose made twice as big.
5. President blows off Russian summit for a two week gig at the MGM Grand
4. Marvin Hamlisch brought in to make the Constitution “Peppier.”
3. When she enters the room, the Marine Band strikes up “Hello Dolly.”
2. Common Headline: “Security Briefing Ends in Diva Fit.”
1. The United States declares war on cellulite.
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