Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is
attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle’s wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends.
Top 10 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
10. “People travel thousands of miles to be with people that they only see once a year. They then discover that once a years is way too often.” Johnny Carson
9. “Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” Nicole Hollander
8. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants” Kevin James
7. “There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” Mitch Hedberg
6. “Most turkey tastes better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” Rita Rudner
5. “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” Jay Leno.
4. “The fourth Thursday of November is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Erma Bombeck
3. “Old People Shouldn’t eat health foods, they need all the preservatives they can get.” Robert Orben
2. “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” Michael Dresser.
1. “I celebrated Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” Jon Stewart