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Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends (assuming that he has any at all). Top 10 Signs You Have A Bad Airline Pilot From David Letterman 9-8-1993
10. You overhear him saying on the Intercom “Hey, Pedro, What’s this gizmo do?”
9. For the past two hours you’ve been going straight up.
8. He says, “We’re cruising at an altitude of 40 feet.”
7. Co-piolet is sitting on his lap.
6. When you take of he yells, “Wheeeeeeee!”
5. At some point he announces, “Screw Chicago, Let’s go find that Mars observer!”
4. He’s wearing a Dominos Pizza uniform.
3. Over P.A. you hear, “Heh, heh, heh, this plane sucks. Heh, heh, heh…”
2. As you get on the plane, you recognize the pilot as the same guy who drove your cab to the airport.
1. Keeps referring to the Control Tower as “Mommy.”
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